Doubts, questions. We all have them, at one time or another. When you have them, though, how do you respond to them? Do you hide them, deny that they are there? Do you feel guilty about them or believe that you are alone? I know that this is something that I’ve had difficulties talking about in my past with people for the simple reason that it seems to be something that would shock or possibly cause people to lose respect for me. As a new believer, it’s quite all right to have questions, big questions. Ask away, by all means, we welcome your questions. Doubts? Bring them, we expect them. But a seasoned Christian better not have any deep questions, or doubts, or reasons to ponder anything they’ve ever believed or been taught. Right?
Maybe, maybe not. If you really think that, you will have some major issues with the 11th chapter of Matthew, and a man who goes by the title of John the Baptist. He sent some of his disciples to Jesus with a question, two-fold, actually. It was pretty straight to the point, “Art thou he that should come, or do we look for another?” Hello? What? John the Baptist questioning whether Jesus was the Christ? This was the man who had spent his entire adult life preaching the coming of the Messiah, and when he saw Him approaching said, “Behold the Lamb of God, which taketh away the sins of the world.” But here he is, questioning whether he had preached the wrong message. Had he pointed to the wrong man? What could have possibly brought such deep doubts to a man who had given his entire life, left home and family, risked everything to a sole purpose such as this? Well, let’s consider where he was. John had been thrown into prison, and not a prison of 21st century standards, for speaking truth. He was hated by those in authority already for preaching the gospel, but to speak out against the blatant sins of Herod he was imprisoned and was in danger of death. The leaders of his people would not come to his aid. Word of the miracles that Jesus was performing filtered in to him through his disciples, yet John sits in a cell alone and confused, a man of the wilderness, confined to a dark dank cell.
How often have we wondered why? Why do we see others’ prayers answered, and we wait and wait and God seems to not even acknowledge us? We wonder if He even knows we are there. We wonder if we are worthy of His attention. Is it something we’ve done? Is it something we haven’t done? What is the problem? Why don’t things seem to change? So we doubt, we question, just like John. “Are You who You say You are?” And we wait for an answer. Will He answer?
In my Bible I highlighted two simple words in verse four of chapter 11. They say ’Jesus answered…’ I guess sometimes that’s just what I need to know. That He did, that He does, and that He will. How He answered John was like this, “Go and shew John again those things which ye do hear and see: The blind receive their sight, and the lame walk, the lepers are cleansed, and the deaf hear; the dead are raised up, and the poor have the gospel preached to them.” Basically Jesus just was reminding John of Who He was, He was referring to some prophecies that were being fulfilled that were quite familiar to the imprisoned man. It was enough to salve any doubts that John may have had, enough to reassure him. It is worthy to note that John was not miraculously sprung from his cell, but actually was beheaded not long after. Discouraging to some, maybe, but God deemed it worthy for us to know what transpired during this time of John’s life. What exactly was it that we need to know? I take away this:
There are going to be times in my life when I am in such dire circumstances that I am going to have some serious questions, even doubts. Questions and doubts about myself, my role, my importance. I will wonder if I matter to God, if He seriously cares about me, if He hears me, if what I believe that I know about Him is right and true. If any of ‘this’ is for real. From the simplest question of ‘Are You there, God?’, to the complex, ‘Why am I here, God?’, I will have questions. And even if I don’t get absolute complete answers, He will acknowledge me, and answer me with at least this much, the same way He answered John. “I am Who I have always said I am. Look back and remember what I’ve done, I never change.”
As I write this, a young couple I know and care about have been waiting for the results of medical tests on their one year old baby boy. After going through and triumphing over cancer with their three-year old daughter, this trial is almost more than they can bear. To face the possibility of cystic fibrosis is overwhelming this family and we are praying for God to spare them this burden. The question of Why was foremost in minds of those who were praying. On a more human level, it was more like, ’Are you kidding me, God?’ I could tell you the results right here. Negative? Praise God! He is merciful and gracious. Prayers were answered. Or : Positive? God’s grace will be lived out in their lives as we watch Him work in their hearts to show His power and strength in ways they’ve never yet experienced. I know the answer, but regardless of the outcome, His answer is ultimately the same: I am Who I am. And for every negative medical test result, someone else has a positive result. I, for one, rejoice that I know One who remains faithful and ever present despite our response to our circumstances.
I guess what I take away from John’s time of questioning and doubting is this: even the best of us will wonder. It helps that after Jesus sends John’s disciples back to him with a message, that He says of John, “Verily I say unto you, Among them that are born of women there hath not risen a greater that John the Baptist “ Pretty high praise for one who had just questioned whether he had just wasted his entire life proclaiming the wrong man as Messiah! Times of great trial and rough circumstances will cause us to question, but we have a Lord who is full of mercy, is longsuffering and is compassionate towards us, who understands what it is like to be tried and tired. He knows what it is to be full of heartache and sorrow, to be rejected and scorned, to be falsely accused, to be hated; he feels our pain. And He loves us. And all He says is to remember again the things that we have seen and heard.
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