Circling the Pit of Despair

When someone asked me recently why I had not written anything on my blog for awhile, I was surprised.  First of all, I guess, that someone had noticed, secondly that it had been almost two months.  I’m not counting the book reviews.  The fact is that I’ve made several attempts.  That were horrendous.  The reason is rather embarrassing for me: I’ve been circling the pit of despair. 
    Notice I said circling this pit, not that I’ve been in it.  To be completely honest, I’m not sure if I’m qualified to diagnose myself, but I’m going to do it anyway.  I’ve tried to avoid jumping right in simply because I’m terrified I’d never get out.  Being a child of God has helped me simply because I have continued to stay in the Word on a daily basis, and while I haven’t had the same joyous fellowship as at other times I fear where I would be if I had been fasting from God’s Word. 
    How I came to be at this particular place is unimportant, but not irrelevant.  Circumstances, health, age, whatever.  Things conspire together to bring us to a place where we feel down, defeated, even somewhat near despair.  For me, it was a culmination of a year-long series of events, maybe longer.  Then a change of medication finally did me in.  Sure enough, when I researched it on line, there it was in black and white: one of the side effects was depression.  Terrific.  Just what I needed in my life.  But what to do about it?  I refuse to get in the medication maze.  Take this one to treat this condition, then this one to off-set this side effect which brings on a whole other set of issues.  No, that will not be my life.   But I could not deny the reality of what I am dealing with.  Then I read Psalm 77.
    The mind is real.  No doubt about it.  God created it, he designed it.  He designed me and He knows me.  He cares about me.  So on the morning I was feeling the most despair, this is what I read.

I cried  unto God with my voice, even unto God with my voice;
And he gave ear unto me
In the day of my trouble I sought the Lord:
My sore ran in the night, and ceased not:
My soul refused to be comforted.
I remembered God, and was troubled:
I complained and my spirit was overwhelmed.

Now read verse 10-14:

And I said, This is my infirmity: but I will remember the years of the right hand of the most High
I will remember the works of the Lord:
Surely I will remember thy wonders of old
I will meditate also of all thy work, and talk of thy doings
Thy way O God, is in the sanctuary:
Who is so great a God as our God?
Thou art the God that does wonders:
Thou has declared thy strength among the people.

    How will I deal with this ‘infirmity’?  By remembering God…by remembering the works of the Lord, the wonders of old, by meditating on all of His works and talking about how great my God is.  When I focus not on me, not on what is going on with me and how I am doing, but by simply remembering Him, who He is, what He has done for me, I will find a way.  The last few verses of the Psalm go like this:

Thou hast with thine arm redeemed thy people, the sons of Jacob and Joseph.  Selah
The waters saw thee, O God, the waters saw thee;
They were afraid: the depths also were troubled.
The clouds poured out water: skies sent out a sound:
Thine arrows also went abroad.
The voice of thy thunder was in the heaven:
The lightnings lightened the world: the earth trembled and shook
Thy way is in the sea, and thy path is in the great waters,
And thy footsteps are not known
Thou leddest thy people like a flock by the hand of Moses and Aaron.

    Remember the children of Israel?  Lost in the wilderness, God cared for them, protected them, and led them.  Just like He did for them, He gives me the same promises.  Redemption.  Protection from the waters of fear overflowing me, water in the dry desert of my soul for refreshing, arrows for defense against the attacks of the enemy, His voice and His light, His path for guidance and the assurance that He will lead me out of this darkness. 
    Psalm 77 has the word ‘Hope’ written beside it in my Bible.  I am His child, and I do not have to live beside the pit of despair, nor circle endlessly it.  God’s promises lead us away from it, Satan’s lies build dwellings in the thick of it.  It is not an easy path, for the enemy is relentless.  But God is mighty and powerful, and if He be for us, who can stand against us?
    If and when you find yourself in a dark place, near that pit of despair, look up this Psalm.  Make it your own.  Our hope is only in the Lord, in remembering what Jesus Christ has done for us, how He has made a difference in our life in the past, how He has redeemed us, touched us, known us and cared for us.  Focus on who God is and on His mighty works, His power, His holiness.  He never changes.  God bless.